Forgivness

This month we look at an issue at the heart of all relationships. If we live by it, our marriages, our family life, our church life will remain healthy; if we neglect it, we are unlikely to enjoy all the riches of God’s grace. Just like the message on cigarette packets ‘Smoking can seriously damage your health’, so also ‘Unforgiveness can seriously damage your marriage, your family life, your social relationships.’ Don’t harbour grudges, do forgive.

Read Matthew 6: 9-15; Luke 11: 1-4

Notice an important difference between the two versions of what we call the Lord’s Prayer (and better thought of as the Disciples’ Prayer): Luke asks our Heavenly Father to ‘forgive us our sins, for we ourselves forgive everyone who sins against us.’ Matthew asks: ‘Forgive us our debts, as we have forgiven our debtors.’ Forgiveness present and forgiveness past. In verse 15 - the only element of the prayer that Jesus elaborates on - he stresses the importance of forgiving others, because if we do not forgive, the Father will not forgive us: if we don’t, He won’t.

RT Kendall, in his excellent book ‘Did You Think to Pray?’, writes: ‘I fear that untold millions have prayed this petition and either didn’t know what they were saying, didn’t want to know, or didn’t mean it.’

Let’s first of all savour what God has done for us through Jesus. Ephesians 1: 7-8 and Colossians 1: 13-14 show the apostle Paul rejoicing that we are ‘rescued from the kingdom of darkness and transferred into the Kingdom of his dear Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins.’ May I ask you to spend some time meditating on this wonderful truth.

Then we look at 1 John 1: 8-9 and see our responsibility in receiving God’s forgiveness for ourselves. It’s about confessing, saying, like the Prodigal Son, that we have ‘sinned against heaven and against you.’ It may involve probing into areas of our character that we are reluctant to visit. It may involve a measure of healing of memories. And then we are back in the Lord’s Prayer, forgiving those who in the past have sinned against us and those who now sin against us.

So let’s spend a little more time thinking about who we might need to forgive. A good place to start is Matthew 18: 21-35. Jesus’ story about the Unforgiving Servant reminds us that it’s an ongoing process, ‘seventy times seven.’ That person who didn’t thank me for all the effort I put in, again? That driver who took the parking place I had queued for ages to get into? The doctor who didn’t diagnose my condition properly?

But do I need to go back further through my life, and check if I am harbouring a grudge against someone from long ago? I was told of a woman who went on a healing course: she always had to wear a full length corset because her back was so weak. The course leader advised her to go to her room that evening and think about anyone from her past who she needed to forgive. She did that; the next morning she brought down a long list: teachers who had said she was no use, parents who had not lived up to expectations, work colleagues who had jumped ahead of her for promotion, and so on. Prayerfully she placed that list at Jesus’ feet and confessed her unforgiving attitude, and chose to forgive them one by one. As she did so, her back became stronger and stronger, she was able to remove the corset and walk tall: she was healed.

For some people forgiving will be terribly difficult. They have had seriously traumatic life experiences. For such a person, the starting prayer may be: ‘Lord, make me willing to be willing to forgive.’ Jesus hears and responds, so we end our prayer by saying, ‘Thank you, Lord Jesus.’

Two further areas where we may need to forgive: ourselves (have you ever heard someone say, ‘I can’t forgive myself for that mistake?); and God (at church we prayed with a young woman who was angry with God for making her a woman. She forgave Him, and went on to be the loved pastor of a church.)

So: ‘Putting shoe leather on it:’

Philippians 2: 5 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.
Colossians 3: 13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Ephesians 4: 26, 31-32 Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (NIV). Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you (Message Translation).

Take time to pray through these verses as you invite the Holy Spirit to breathe His power into your prayers. Amen.

For further reading: ‘The Freedom of Forgiveness’ by David Augsburger (1989) or ‘The New Freedom of Forgiveness’ by David Augsburger (2000)